Wednesday, 30 October 2013

The Maul (sheffield)

Ok so here's my maul review. I want to be brief but I always end up babbling crap. Basically maul is 2999pts of fluffy WFB ran by Tim Fisher. One of the things that make it interesting is on the Saturday night there is a doubles game and fancy dress. It is billed as a fluffy tournament and most people make the effort to be fluffed up, but after having my 98 glade guard in a folding tree house rejected I am now dubious about the fluff levels.

I did really enjoy it this year, there were a few drop outs which is annoying but there always is (it's usually Gill) I did however prefer it at the Mansfield venue, it just seemed more cosy and more well just more maul really, Tim even said it felt like Sheffield is the home of slaughter and I tend to agree.

The tournament was very well run as usual and there weren't any major disputes or anything. There were scenarios in 2 of the games it up a bit. There were a host of monsters kicking about and surprisingly not that many cannons, I didn't face a single cannon all weekend...(could have taken a treeman :( )

What else? The food in the morning (breakfast for those who don't know) was pretty good. I didn't enjoy the burger at the lunch break on day one though as it was cold and rubbery....shame...and the meal on Saturday night was ruined due to the fact that all the greedy pig gamers went back for second helpings of the buffet before I had even had 1 helping so I was left with chilli and....nothing yeah thats it...just a plate of I had to go and buy loads of M&Ms from the vender downstairs.

The trophies were good as they always are with trophies for best in race (a must imo) best fancy dress, best painted army players and judges choice, 1st,2nd,3rd generals, best halloween killer, most bloody halloween killer and best performance with a shit army (or something like that) which I should win every year for taking wood elves but because everyone thinks im an insufferable cunt I can see why I don't get it. It went to some woolly woofter called Mark Wildman, presumably cus if he didn't win something there would be some massive uproar about gay rights. We all got a free turn marker which is nice. Stones bitter was £2.70 a pint and Gareth made some cup cakes which I must point out were very nice, an oreo half on the bottom of the a 40k is worth mentioning though that the proceeds from these cakes went straight to Ben Curry sat at hom cackling on his throne of kebab meat and not to charity.

Was nice to have a game of Perudo on the evening to with the usual suspects, that for me is always one of the highlights it was nice to see Annie win the judges choice best army because for me (and obviously Tim) the theme of the chaos gnome army is just perfect for the maul. Steve wren winning best painted army is great too since he's probably the nicest guy in wfb after Ed Morris. Jack Armstrong didn't cheat and bring a load of extra units either so that was a refreshing change.

On the whole I would give this tourney the thumbs up, especially if it's going to be your first tourney as its so so friendly. Cheap hotels nearby (walking distance) great people, cheap beer, good trophies, best in race and full rankings. That ticks all the boxes you need really. I really don't get why it doesnt sell out in a few minutes...maybe it's due to the high pts limit and people not having the models? Who knows but it's a good one. So well done guys, looking forward to the next one but I seriously think straight out timmy comp is the only way forward for scoring lists. Mark them all out of 10 with 10 being fluffy cus there were way too many people giving 5's for everything (myself included) cus I don't want to hurt peoples feelings after they have already been crushed by Wood Elves.

Ok so on to my games... this really is brief, one sentence per game...GO!!!!

1. Mark Borland monster mash chaos army...He walked through me, wardancers killed a big monster after I six dices call of the hunt into its flank. LOST 20-0

2. Zack Martin Tomb Kings...He ran at me, I shot everything to bits, challenged settra with annoyance of nettlings, eventually won the combat, monstoned the wizard to safety. WON 20-0

3. Doubles Me and Dave Pyle v Danny Pegg and J D... Dave is stupid and thought asf cancelled itself out BEFORE it cancelled the great weapon out and after losing 15 executioners to trebs he cascaded and killed 5 more, then his last ten died to silver helms because THEY DONT FUCKING STRIKE FIRST DAVE!!!!! so we put regen on the spearmen using trusty Athel Loren, charged glade guard into the side and 6 diced the number 6 Dark elf spell...that killed the Silver helms, DAnny's comet killed JD general and I shot everything else off cus im awesome and so are wood elves...I wiped Dave's tears from his face as we won and he thanked me for the 20 points after he was laying on the floor in the fetal position after turn 1.

4. Joel Smith Tomb Kings... Blood and glory... I was on -500pts at the start cus I had no banners...RETARD... Casket killed 20 glade guard turn one, then I shot some stuff off. LOST 15-5 (would have been 12-8 if not for B+G fuck up)

5. Matt Hinton...Daemons...As predicted the new daemon book is all about fucking nurgle shit...and this list was filth...I gave it a 4/5 cus I hated it...anyway mass nurgle wall of crap with epidemus or whatever hes called (this is basically a list Gill was running before the new book but now it's actually good) anyway he ambled across the board, I had some good shooting and was about 12-8 up until the 5th turn where I dwellers the great unclean one right off the board...YEAH THATS RIGHT!!!! and I don't give a shit cus thats warhammer and he shouldn't have come into Athel Loren looking for trouble...I dolt Dave Pyle I was gonna dwellers that GUO off the board and I did so of my word. WON 19-1

I finished 11th which is ok for wood elves and got top woody.

There you go...Maul in a nutshell.

Hope you enjoyed it and think i'm even more of a tosser cus I feet off your hatred!


P.s. I like typos so don't comment on them!!!!!1111one

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